Eulogy x3

Eulogy 1: What you think actually sums up your life

Stacie was a very smart person with a natural proclivity for academics. She strived to make great marks in all of her educational endeavors and succeeded most of the time - insuring a source of pride for all who knew her from these efforts.

I knew Stacie to be a very honest person. Often times, she would make people refrain from speaking ill towards others that she knew of around her. I guess she just didn't have it in her to listen to other people speak disrespectfully about someone else. She refused to lie. She lead by example, showing us all how to be better and how to benefit by being truthful to ourselves.  

Stacie was a very loving person and committed to helping others. In fact, one of her shortcomings stems from this. Stacie  oftentimes became confused by the blurred line between professionalism and just flat-out caring too much for a person in her day to day occupational duties. She would bring her feelings for people she helped home with her- always wishing to be of more service to them, constantly empathizing.

I think the key defining trait of Stacie was her family ties. She viewed family as a source of constant strength and inspiration. Family was her world. She was constantly trying to build and grow her family. She made many friends over the course of her life, each of which came to know and love her in their own special way. And in turn, she made these people feel like extensions of her family. - loved, trusted, cherished.

In conclusion, all who came to love Stacie realized that she was a great and special person who gave them all every bit of herself - her love, her compassion, her strength.

Eulogy 2: What you fear could be written about you

Stacie was a positive person but spent most of her life in a struggle to find herself. Her childhood was checkered by love and rejection that reached into her adolescence and adult life. In her younger years, she often strived for approval and attention, but was often left feeling sad and alone. She did her best to hide these feelings but they would make themselves known throughout her childhood.

Adolescence was a tough period for Stacie. She lost herself in others and had to fight to find her way back to the person she wanted to be. She had many struggles and disappointments. She often found herself loving the wrong people and caused herself a lot of pain. It was also a tough period for her family. She made a lot of bad choices that affected those around her and caused worry and concern. She forgot how to love and isolated herself with her feelings. Adolescence was a battle that raged on for years, but she managed to overcome her obstacles and in her mid twenties she went back to school to find her passion in life.

Unfortunately, Stacie passed away just before graduation. With only 2 weeks left before earning her degree - tragedy struck. It was a quick and unexpected loss. We hope she felt little pain, but no one can say for sure what she was feeling. Stacie had grown a lot over the last several years, but we will never know what she could have achieved. She was a flower that was late to blossom, and it's beauty will never be revealed. 

Eulogy 3: What you hope could be written about you

Stacie was a happy person and always wanted to share that joy with others. Since she was a child she would always go out of her way to help others. There was one time when her brother didn't have enough money to go to Knott's Scary Farm with his friends, so she dipped into her 10 year old piggy bank and gave him most of her money. She didn't seek rewards, it was love that inspired her to help others. She could know you for a minute or ten years and she would still do everything she could to help if you were in need.

Her smile was sincere and her words were honest. She was passionate about life and being kind to everyone you meet. Throughout life she would donate her time and compassion to people who were in need. She has fed the homeless, volunteered at schools and hospitals, and inspired others with her kindness. Just knowing Stacie inspired you to be a better person. Was she perfect? Hell no. But she was true to herself and lived a life she could be proud of.

Stacie will leave behind a family that she cherished and loving group of friends and supporters. Although she is not physically with us anymore, her memory will live on in the hearts of all the people that she touched. We will remember her humor, her love, and her passion for life. We will remember that family means everything and those we love are family. We will remember that life involves struggles but you should never stop fighting. Stacie was able to overcome her early tribulations and dedicated her life to helping others do the same. She will always be loved, remembered, and missed.

Loneliness

I spent a couple hours on Main St. in Huntington Beach. There are always people there from many different walks of life. I see people handling loneliness in many different ways. A lot of people drink and socialize to cover their loneliness, but you can tell there is not a deep connection with the person they are with. Other people look sad and are sitting alone. Many people who are alone are smoking and standing near others, but not interacting. I overheard one conversation of a very pretty girl talking with her friends about being lonely. She also explained she had recently been dating two other people, but those relationships ended and now she was lonely. She asked her friends to help find her a new man and said she was ready to go prowl. Listening to her talk, I got the impression that finding another man would not solve her problem. She would still be lonely.


The saddest part of my day was listening to that beautiful girl rationalize these meaningless relationships. It left me with the impression that she would spend a lot of time searching for a relationship that she wasn't ready for. I believe there is some truth in the old saying that no one can fully love you until you love yourself. On another note, this experience made me realize the value of just saying "Hi, how are you?". You may not be able to solve the loneliness of another, but you might make a small difference in their life just by taking the time to say hello. You might even discover you have a lot in common and make a new friend. It has been quite some time since I truly felt lonely, but it was a very depressing feeling. Feeling alone is awful. If you see someone you that appears to be lonely, say hello. Strike up a conversation. Be a positive influence in the life of another. It could benefit you both.

Sexaulity - Questions From a 30 Year Old Virgin

I was a little worried about this assignment, but then an opportunity presented itself to me. I have a friend who is 30 years old and still a virgin. He has little sexual experience but loves and respects women. He has held onto his virginity for religious reasons. Last night, he began a discussion about sexuality and I was completely comfortable engaging and answering his questions.


1. Are you ever not in the mood for sex?


This question makes me laugh but I completely understand where he is coming from. He stated that he could not think of time where he would not want sex, and that he wants to be with someone who feels the same way. I think back to teenage years of sexual curiosity and desire and I know exactly how he feels. Before I became sexually active, and in the beginning of new relationships, your sex drive is heightened and for the most part, you are willing to have sex with your partner all the time. However, I explained that the longer you are with someone, the more life gets in the way. There are times when you are stressing about bills, or obligations, or homework, or illness... there are times when sex is the last thing on your mind. He said he understood and agreed.


2. Are you past the honey moon period in your relationship?


So this is where it gets a little personal for me. My friend wanted to know specifically about my relationship and I was open to talking about it with him... but now I have to post it online for anyone to read... The honest answer is yes. I am past the honey moon period in my relationship. We have been together for almost two years and although we are still attracted to each other, we are not as physical as we were in the beginning of the relationship. I explained to my friend that although it might seem disappointing, it is actually a good sign. At the beginning of a relationship most feelings are based on attraction and sex. As the relationship grows and matures you don't need sex to fill in the emotional gaps. My boyfriend and I are deeply in love and spend most of our time together doing activities. We hike, we read, we play video games, we play music, we sing, we dance, we enjoy each other's company. The sex is great, yes, but it isn't everything.


3. What is the average amount of sex a couple will have per week?


I explained to my friend that the answer to that question will vary widely depending on the couple you ask. My boyfriend and I have a very healthy relationship. We are comfortable talking to each other about our needs and desires. We go out of our way to please each other and keep the relationship spicy. My friend said he understood and would like to have sex with his partner a minimum of 3-4 times per week. I said that seems perfectly normal for a young couple with no children. Of course it depends on distance, living situation, age, work schedules, etc., but most of the young couples I know meet his ideal average.

Female Role Models

 

My mother – For most people, their first gender role model is their mother. I’m no exception to this rule. My mother spent her teenage years as a model and was moderately successful, but by the time I came around that was ancient history. The mother I knew was beautiful, but she had lost her interest in make up and high fashion so those things were never very interesting to me. I taught myself how to do my make-up and my fashion sense has always been questionable lol. My mother was often encouraging me to “sit like a lady”. She allowed me to experiment with my hair and make-up. We struggled with having an open and close relationship when I was younger so I never really felt I had anyone to talk to about being a woman. I just kind of navigated my way through adolescence with my friends.

 

Pink – A more recent example of a female role model is the artist, Pink. Pink’s music helped me navigate through a somewhat troubled adolescence and still influences me as an adult. I love her hard but pretty appearance and her tough girl attitude. She makes no apologies for who she is and what she wants. I remember specifically a song about the pressure to fit in in the music industry and how she got famous do what she wants and being who she is. She is physically fit and became a huge success by staying true to herself and not conforming to cultural standards of beauty and femininity.

 

Pink and my mom share the qualities of natural beauty and non-conformance. They are comfortable in their own skin and confident in their abilities. I chose these women as role models because they possess the qualities I find most desirable. They are confident, strong, successful, and make no apologies for who they are.

Relationship Modeling

My parents did not have healthy relationship when I was a child, but they knew that and chose to divorce when I was very young. I guess that should have given me double the opportunity to be exposed to a healthy marriage, but I never was. My father remarried first (and quickly) to an emotionally unstable woman with two kids. We tried to blend our families but it was just too difficult. My father and my stepmother had intense arguments that often involved throwing and breaking objects and a couple times physically restraining my stepmother. They attempted counseling but it just wasn’t going to work. By the time I was 18 they were ready to get a divorce. My mother remarried slightly later than my father to a man whose children were grown and she took their relationship slowly. My stepfather had a temper and I often witnessed them arguing. No one fights fair in my family. I never learned from my parents how to argue with respect or accept my partner’s differences. It actually wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I moved in with my aunt and uncle, who also had 3 children, that I was exposed to a healthy relationship. Obviously no relationship is perfect, but theirs is pretty darn close. They respect and love each other. They don’t call each other names and they don’t curse. Every decision made is a team decision and even when they disagree they are able to calmly come to an agreement. What I learned from my parents is that I wouldn’t want to replicate their relationship, or the relationships they had following each other. What I do want is what I saw between my aunt and my uncle. I want a partnership. I want someone who respects me even when we disagree. I want the love I share with my partner to radiate through us. I want closeness and honesty. I’m very grateful for the time I spent with my aunt learning what real love looks like.

Just Do It - (Workout!)

The last year I have spent less and less time on myself and my fitness goals. A couple years ago I was on a roll; I was training for a half marathon and almost never missed my daily workouts. I went through several life changes over the last couple years and one of the things I lost focus on was fitness. I spent the last two weeks working on my health and trying to find that fire that has been missing as of late. It's often hard for me to find the time to workout because I take 15-18 units per quarter, work my internship job, and my regular job. I also have family obligations and relationships that need my attention. However, when challenged and assigned to make time to workout I happily accepted. I squeeze my workouts into whatever time I can find. When home on the weekends I was able to make time for Yoga and hiking - two of my favorite activities because they bring me peace and allow me time to focus on me. During the week I spent my lunch break taking a 30 minute walk that covered about 2 miles. It felt nice to get out of the office and even better to know that I was taking matters into my own hands again. I am not comfortable with the weight I have gained recently and this assignment could be the beginning of my push for physical fitness. Working out gives me energy, a more positive outlook, and more confidence. I will post a picture of my workout soon.

Love Language

People love and perceive love in very different ways. The first person I spoke to about the way I love is my amazing boyfriend Jonathan. He is seriously one of the best things that ever happened to me. I talked to him about how I like to show my love with physical affection and he agreed that is the one of the primary displays of caring I give. I show affection using massage, back scratches, hugs, kisses, hand holding, and a million other ways. I have dated people who weren't into that, but I'm so glad that he is. We also talked about how I show my love verbally. He said I'm very encouraging, supportive, and vocal. When I feel something, I say it. Whether it is about the awesome partnership we have, my hopes for the future, or just the warm fuzzy feeling of love. I don't let the moment pass without speaking my emotions. Lastly we discussed how he believes I reward people with gifts. I had never really considered that but he is right. I buy him small gifts and send him things I think he would like. I pay for dinner when I want him to know he is appreciated and that we are a team. Our love works well together because I get the same things I give. We are deeply connected by our ability to give and receive love.

The other person I spoke to was my dad. I show love to my dad and the rest of my family by being there. There was a time when I didn't spend much time with my family and didn't appreciate them. Now, I never miss a chance to spend time with them. My family is my priority and I have become the person that is always planning the next holiday or get together. I also show my love verbally. I never hang up the phone without saying "Love you, bye". My dad tells me how proud he is of me and I reciprocate the feeling. The emotional connection is clear between us. No wondering or second guessing, we let each other know how much we love each other all the time. The last way I show my love is by being helpful. I never say no when family needs a favor. I'm the first person to show up and lend a helping hand. I don't expect anything back because honestly they have given me so much more than I feel like I give them. Being helpful is the least I can do.

I'm very grateful to have people in my life that accept the love I give them and love me back in the same ways. Life is beautiful when you spend it with those you love.