Messages to Me

Your self-worth?

My dad makes it a point to always tell me (and my brother) how proud he is of us, "I'm so proud of you". He will always say it with the most honest and sincere look in his eyes and it has always made me feel incredibly special. Special and lucky to have such an awesome dad.

Your potential to succeed?

Both of my parents were always very encouraging when it came to following our dreams. They supported me in everything I tried - from selling perfume to becoming a teacher. They always had my back. I remember them always saying, "You can do this".

Your gender role?

I think my parents always wanted me to be a little more girly than I was. I was more of a tom-boy. I liked playing sports and getting dirty. If one phrase stands out the most from my childhood it is my mother constantly reminding me to, "Sit like a lady". The memory brings a smile and a chuckle to my face.

Your intelligence?

I'm having trouble remembering a direct quote regarding intelligence. Intelligence is definitely encouraged from a young age in our family; my brother and I would practice our times tables and race each other for fun. I loved to read and I think my parents would often encourage that.  My dad sometimes says, "You're a genius, just like me".

Your trust in yourself?

I can definitely remember my parents saying things to me like, "I know you'll do the right thing". It usually came up in adolescence when talking about drugs or alcohol.

Trusting others?

From a young age my father shared with my brother and me the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me". I think we were taught to always look for the best in people. I became slight more skeptical after my rebellious teenage years but I still like to give most people the benefit of the doubt.

Making yourself vulnerable?

"Big baby". It's actually kind of an inside joke. My brother, my mom, and myself, all cry at the drop of a hat. We cry at movies, we cry at songs, we cry when we share memories and hopes and dreams. Usually when one person calls another a "big baby" both people actually have tears in their eyes, and it's a smile and a laugh to get us back on track.

Your creativity?

I was never very creative. When I did like to express my creative side, like through acting or singing, I always felt very supported. Usually they would say something like "You were the best ____" Fill in the blank. The best lamb in the Christmas play, the best witch they had ever seen, etc.

Your ability to be loved?

"I love you". Probably the three most powerful words you can tell a child, and no matter how many times you tell them, it can never be enough. I heard the words "I love you" a million times in my childhood and although I struggled a lot in my romantic life I never doubted that I was loved.

Your capacity to give love?

One day, after a very long and deep conversation, my aunt said to me "You have so much love to

give, and I know that one day someone is going to be able to return that love. Someone is going

to love you the way you deserve to be loved". That was a very powerful moment in my life. It changed not only the way I saw myself but also my view of what I deserved.

For the ones that you consider negative, do you think you are ready to change them?  Why now?