Nourishing the Spirit

This week I did many things to nourish my spirit, and I would like to discuss a few of them with you. I find that it nourishes my spirit when I give honest compliments to others and share in successes and joys with the people I love. This weekend I went to a wedding for my cousin and his new bride. It was a beautiful ceremony at the Fullerton Arboretum and it was about a 1/4 of a mile stroll down a dirt path lined with trees, plants, waterfalls, flowers, etc. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful ceremony. Sharing in the joy of the couple and celebrating with hundreds of friends is pretty nourishing, but I made sure to take the time to stop and appreciate all the other little things that were happening around me. Like the turtles in the pond, the birds flying overhead, the smell of the spring flowers, and the beautiful sunset behind the trees. Below is a picture of my boyfriend and I enjoying a lovely Saturday.

Another thing I'm doing to add to my quality of life is volunteering at a local elementary school two days per week for four hours per day. I am working on my getting my teaching credential so I wanted to volunteer and my niece asked if I could volunteer in her classroom. I cleared it with the school so I could volunteer in her class and I also volunteer in another class to diversify my experience. It's rewarding on a tangible level because it is experience I need to help me reach my goals, but it's also rewarding to my spirit because I get to be a part of the learning experience for over 30 little children. It's a true gift to me. I plan on continuing to volunteer as long as the school will have me and my schedule allows. Here is a picture of me with the girl who nourishes my soul. In the picture are showing off the BFF necklaces that she bought with her own money. Volunteering at the school is great, but getting to volunteer in my niece's classroom and spend that extra time with her is just the best!

Messages to Me

Your self-worth?

My dad makes it a point to always tell me (and my brother) how proud he is of us, "I'm so proud of you". He will always say it with the most honest and sincere look in his eyes and it has always made me feel incredibly special. Special and lucky to have such an awesome dad.

Your potential to succeed?

Both of my parents were always very encouraging when it came to following our dreams. They supported me in everything I tried - from selling perfume to becoming a teacher. They always had my back. I remember them always saying, "You can do this".

Your gender role?

I think my parents always wanted me to be a little more girly than I was. I was more of a tom-boy. I liked playing sports and getting dirty. If one phrase stands out the most from my childhood it is my mother constantly reminding me to, "Sit like a lady". The memory brings a smile and a chuckle to my face.

Your intelligence?

I'm having trouble remembering a direct quote regarding intelligence. Intelligence is definitely encouraged from a young age in our family; my brother and I would practice our times tables and race each other for fun. I loved to read and I think my parents would often encourage that.  My dad sometimes says, "You're a genius, just like me".

Your trust in yourself?

I can definitely remember my parents saying things to me like, "I know you'll do the right thing". It usually came up in adolescence when talking about drugs or alcohol.

Trusting others?

From a young age my father shared with my brother and me the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me". I think we were taught to always look for the best in people. I became slight more skeptical after my rebellious teenage years but I still like to give most people the benefit of the doubt.

Making yourself vulnerable?

"Big baby". It's actually kind of an inside joke. My brother, my mom, and myself, all cry at the drop of a hat. We cry at movies, we cry at songs, we cry when we share memories and hopes and dreams. Usually when one person calls another a "big baby" both people actually have tears in their eyes, and it's a smile and a laugh to get us back on track.

Your creativity?

I was never very creative. When I did like to express my creative side, like through acting or singing, I always felt very supported. Usually they would say something like "You were the best ____" Fill in the blank. The best lamb in the Christmas play, the best witch they had ever seen, etc.

Your ability to be loved?

"I love you". Probably the three most powerful words you can tell a child, and no matter how many times you tell them, it can never be enough. I heard the words "I love you" a million times in my childhood and although I struggled a lot in my romantic life I never doubted that I was loved.

Your capacity to give love?

One day, after a very long and deep conversation, my aunt said to me "You have so much love to

give, and I know that one day someone is going to be able to return that love. Someone is going

to love you the way you deserve to be loved". That was a very powerful moment in my life. It changed not only the way I saw myself but also my view of what I deserved.

For the ones that you consider negative, do you think you are ready to change them?  Why now?

Childhood and Adolescent Reflection

Earliest Recollection

My earliest memory is not a pleasant one. This is not the first time I have been asked this question and I always wish there was something else I could say, but there isn't. My parents got divorced when I was very young. My earliest memory is a time I walked in on an argument right before they separated. I couldn't have been older than three at this time. I remember walking into the kitchen and seeing my parents yelling at each other. As best as I can remember, this argument was about money and bills. I asked for something, but I can't remember exactly what. Maybe a glass of water, or a bowl of cereal... but I remember my parents turning on me. They yelled and told me to "shut up" which was considered a bad word in my house. They said, "Shut up, Stacie! Get out of here!". It wrecked me. I remember being so hurt and so sad that my parents would treat me and each other this way. I ran into the living room crying and sat there until my brother found me. He asked me what was wrong and I said "nothing". He hugged me and said "You wouldn't be crying if nothing was wrong". Then we sat there silently together and waited out the fight. That was a defining moment between me and my brother. It established him as my protector and someone who could provide love and comfort in an unstable time. My brother was my  rock and it remained that way well into adulthood.

I believe this memory had a large impact on my childhood and adolescence. I often felt lonely and unloved. I felt insecure. My childhood was a lot of back and forth between each parent's house. My parents continued to fight and my brother and I were often in the middle regarding arguments about child support and which parent was taking better care of us. It was a really rough time for me and also affected my ability to make long lasting friendships. However, the one constant was my brother. He was always there for me when I needed him and he was probably one of the only people I could trust. I think that moment we shared as children is still influencing my life today because I don't doubt for a second that my brother would be there for me no matter what I was going through. He is someone I can depend on. He is the main male role model I have had in my life and the bond we share has gotten me through a lot of tough times. Through my parents I have learned what an unhealthy relationship looks like and that children should never be involved in the arguments of a divorce. As an adult I have been able to put all the hurt of the past behind me and I have very close relationships with both my parents.

Adolescent

This is a time period I really don't discuss with a lot of people. I was a rebellious teenager and I made a lot of mistakes. My relationships were always hidden and kept secret from my family. I always wanted to date older men and put myself in a lot of dangerous situations. I chose my friends poorly and I liked to party. Along with being secretive I was also very manipulative. I hid things from my family and manipulated evidence and facts to make it look like I was an innocent, hard working teenager. I started ditching school my sophomore year but by my junior year I skipped class nearly every day. I was able to stay in school by having friends drop assignments off to my teachers without ever showing up. In my adolescent years I would say my biggest struggles were with my relationships, both friends and lovers.

My struggles in adolescence affected me well into adulthood. I never really experienced a healthy relationship until my mid-twenties. I often found myself in abusive and unhealthy relationships and I would stay with the same person for years. I think my search for love also goes back to the uncertainty of my childhood as well as poor choices in my adolescence. I remember discussing my boyfriend history with my brother once and he pointed out to me that I couldn't find a good guy because I was still looking in all the wrong places and accepting all the wrong offers. He also taught me that attractiveness is a very small part of what makes up a healthy and rewarding relationship. The one relationship issue that I occasionally still struggle with is trust. It is hard for me to believe that I am being genuinely loved and appreciated. I know now how to recognize negative and positive qualities, and which qualities are important to a healthy relationship, but I often doubt myself. However, I truly believe every moment of pain and struggle I went through has shaped me into the person I have become. I am very proud of the things I have accomplished. My future is based on helping others and adding positivity to the world. I had to rebuild my adult life from the bottom up and without my struggles I wouldn't be able to help another person do the same thing.

Learning Styles

Your Learning Style

Based on your input, you show definite strengths in the following areas of intelligence:
Verbal, Logical/Mathematical, Intrapersonal, Interpersonal
Verbal Intelligence You prefer verbal intelligence, using it with comfort and ease. Given an opportunity, you will usually select it. Becoming an expert should be rewarding and fulfilling, and will require little effort.
Musical Intelligence You use musical intelligence with some comfort and ease. You could take or leave the application or use of this intelligence. While you accept it, you do not embrace it. Gaining expertise in this intelligence would be satisfying, but would require considerable effort.
Logical/Mathematical Intelligence You prefer logical/mathematical intelligence, using it with comfort and ease. Given an opportunity, you will usually select it. Becoming an expert should be rewarding and fulfilling, and will require little effort.
Spatial Intelligence You use spatial intelligence with some comfort and ease. You could take or leave the application or use of this intelligence. While you accept it, you do not embrace it. Gaining expertise in this intelligence would be satisfying, but would require considerable effort.
Kinesthetic Intelligence You use kinesthetic intelligence with some comfort and ease. You could take or leave the application or use of this intelligence. While you accept it, you do not embrace it. Gaining expertise in this intelligence would be satisfying, but would require considerable effort.
Intrapersonal Intelligence You prefer intrapersonal intelligence, using it with comfort and ease. Given an opportunity, you will usually select it. Becoming an expert should be rewarding and fulfilling, and will require little effort.
Interpersonal Intelligence You prefer interpersonal intelligence, using it with comfort and ease. Given an opportunity, you will usually select it. Becoming an expert should be rewarding and fulfilling, and will require little effort.
Naturalist Intelligence You use the naturalist intelligence with some comfort and ease. You could take or leave the application or use of this intelligence. While you accept it, you do not embrace it. Gaining expertise in this intelligence would be satisfying, but would require considerable effort.

This is not the first time I have taken this test but the results seem slightly different to me. I can't recall exactly what I tested as before but the answers seemed to be more in depth. I agree with the results almost completely.  The main problem I have with the results is they show very little diversity. Every intelligence says "You prefer..." or "You could take or leave...", there are no answers that came up as "You don't prefer..." or "You pretty much hate...". There are some things I know I can preform more easily than others and I'm sure you can apply that to my learning styles. I'm not particularly gifted with Kinesthetic or Spatial, even though there are things about both I occasionally enjoy. I guess that works with "You could take or leave...", now that I think about it. I find self tests like this quite interesting but I wish the results here provided a little more guidance. I would like to know which style of learning I scored strongest on and which style was my weakest. Even though I have taken this test before it was interesting to take it again and see the results. I doubt it will have much influence on my learning styles in the future but it is still good information to have.

COUN 445 Introduction

1.   Stacie

2.   CSULA - Rehab Services 

3.

Selfie

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